Featured image banner for Plasterbrain's gr8 essay about boys.

Alternate Crush Post: ARIMNAES EDITION

Edit: It’s come to my attention that this is a fairly high result up there on the Googles for the search “Arimnaes,” a fact at which I LOL HEARTILY.

I have a confession to make; all of the crushes I am writing about in the sister post to this are made up people, and the stories I’ve told about them similarly fabricated in order to cover up my several iterations of a passionate love for my friend/senpai/not friend/keeps ignoring me, Tom “likes to laugh” Laflin, spanning many years, including several before I met him.

We were castmates in a dub directed by my brother of a webcomic about vegetable people. It was love at first sight; I caught his eyes from across the skype conversation and we made several hand motions indicating our intentions to cut the introduction meeting short and indulge in two private hours of rough phone sex, and I mean ROUGH! His phone penis is enormous, or so it has been described to me. (You see, it was over the phone.)

Things I love about Tom “laughing gas” Laflin:

  • His unbridled love of strategy games which quickly becomes fury upon losing a game of WarLight
  • The way he prioritizes lectures from renowned go players and “DnD planning time” over our spending time together ALSO he forgot our anniversary I HATE U TOM
  • he has money!!
  • His penchant for non-subtly and fiercely correcting others’ misuse of homonyms or mispronunciations…
  • his chin
  • Another bullet point
  • The way he turns down my advances because I’m “not Manfred von Karma enough.”
  • You know I actually really hated Von Karma.
  • Oh man when he does that thing where he waggles his finger at you I just went fucking nuts don’t tell tom though
  • oh no i hope he’s not reading this!
  • Is this actually ironic? Or am I just lonely?
  • Grendel was an ok novel.

Right now, my Sweet Honey Angel is attempting Fire Emblem on hard difficulty and not saying a word to me. I heard a plane go by from his end. You know, even with no one saying any words in a two person call, it’s nice to know someone else is alive out there. Reaching from the other end of the universe…. or Seattle.

Unfortunately with Arim on the other end I can’t make any incriminating noises, like murder sounds.

I’ll leave you with a true story that I didn’t just make up right now. It is a story about me and Arim as told from Arim’s perspective as I profess to know his very thoughts.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ARIM POV ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The others filed out of the hotel room after a rousing round of Super Smash Brothers and I sat watching them, unmoving, until the┬ásure sound of the door closing could be heard one last time, granting me permission to rush to the desk chair with leather bound notebook in hand and make to jot down the endless freeverse that clouded my mind, teeming with horny thoughts for PLASTERBRAIN…

Post Author: plaster

Winner of Miss Best Effort seven years and counting, Plasterbrain spends her days pretending to code, writing music, and third bullet point. Her top three first dates would be hunting for slugs, writing fanfiction about Hanzo, and a joint Powerpoint presentation. Oh wait wait wait! Can I add a fourth? The fourth is Neopets.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *