A young man stands behind a bicycle inside an abandoned industrial building.

Millennials are Killing the Coffin Industry

Sorry, readers aged 0 to 30. This article is for old-timers only. You may have been confused by the word “Millennials” appearing in the title and URL slug, but this is not a dog bowl, this is scholarly investigative journalism, meaning we only put your namesake on it to garner easy page views from your #woke elders, who have opened their eyes to the 21st century reality — Millennials are killing a devastating number of nouns. And now we’re adding one more to the list.