Category: Under the Bed

Reviews of, unsolicited opinions on, and walkthroughs for indie games no one plays.

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  1. The Talos Principle: Worth the Hype?

    The Talos Principle is about humanity, though it taught me more about what it’s like to be a deep-learning AI, trained on several gigabytes worth of useless physics puzzles, and has given me a very good argument for why robots are not programmed to feel boredom or nausea.

  2. Remember, Remember Review

    Kris [insert last name here] and his four best friends, Lisa, Rosa, Xavier, and Peter, are running late to their college graduation ceremony. Because none of them majored in basic street smarts, they accept a ride from a stranger in a van claiming to be a student. The next thing they know, they are trapped in some kind of scientific facility, the only exit barred by lasers. The friends recognize each other, but find themselves unable to recall anything of their past life. A mask appears above them on screen and claims that some of them have been keeping terrible secrets(!), and in order to extract these particular memories and reveal their guilt, Kris must play a game using the nearby console, in which he must deliver protective haloes to all his friends before time runs out, lest they drown.

  3. Date Handsome Warriors in Debut VN “Requiescence”

    Though fairly short and not particularly branch-y, Requiescence is a charming first foray into the world of BL visual novels by newcomer team Argent Games. This boys’ love visual novel features four handsome adventurers exploring an ancient, magical site — known simply as the Cathedral. The player character is an ice mage called Kymil, freshly 19 years old, and for some reason his voice actor is the only one who participates in any sex scenes.

  4. Reflecting on Pocket Mirror

    If you’re still keeping up with RPG Maker horror games in 2016 (I know I am!), then first of all the two of us need a new hobby, and second of all you’ve probably heard that the twinkly lolita spectacle Pocket Mirror has finally been released, three years after its initial demo, and clocking in at around 6 hours, it’s an artistic behemoth. How does Pocket Mirror compare to games like Ib and The Witch’s House, which it credits as sources of inspiration? Well, since the good stuff about this game should be immediately obvious (spoiler alert: it’s the artwork), in this review I’ll do what I do best and focus on the bad stuff! I am fun at parties.

  5. Welcome to the Game: a Russian Encounter

    In Welcome to the Game, you search the Deep Web for the hidden address of what is apparently the only Red Room — that is, a website where you can view and interact with a snuff film in real time (Like, Twitch plays murder basically) — in existence. Red Rooms are fairly well accepted as a myth, but that never stopped our imaginations from putting games on Steam. And now, thanks to the help of your friend Adam, you have all the necessary tools to hack and double-forward-slash your way across a pretend version of the anonymous internet.